Cold Ash & Hermitage Mummers
THEY FIGHT. AFTER SOME TIME, TURKISH KNIGHT FALLS BUT NOT BEATEN
Pardon me, pardon me, King George,
And I'll be thy slave.
Pardon thee? Why never pardon a Turkish Knight;
Stand on thy feet and show thy might.
THEY FIGHT; KING GEORGE SLAYS HIS OPPONENT
Thou villain, thou villain, what hast thou done?
Thou hast ruined me of my only son,
Now lies bleeding on the ground.
He challenged me first, father. What was I to do?
Father Christmas: Is there a doctor to be found?
King George: Yes, father.
Father Christmas: What's his name?
King George: Peter Lamb
In comes I, iddy, iddy octor
Can't say doctor, therefore I must say iddy iddy octor.
I am here, Sir, there Sir, all over the world, Sir.
I've been to England, Scotland, Ireland and Dover.
I don't go about like one of those quick quake doctors.
I go about for the good of my Country, Rather kill than cure.
If thou can’t cure, I’ll call for another.
Walk in Jack Vinney and help thy brother.
My name ain't Jack Vinney,
My name's Mr. John Vinney,
A man of great strength.
Cured an old magpie of the toothache.
How did you do that?
Cut off his head and threw his body in the ditch
I went off the morrow about nine days after,
Picked up this poor little old magpie,
Rammed my arm down his throat,
Turned him inside outwards,
And made as good a magpie as ever walked in a pair of boots.
Cans’t cure this man a-dying here?
He’s too far gone for me, I fear!
What’s good of that? Fetch the Doctor.
He’s the one to cure the battler!
Father Christmas: What cans't thou cure, Doctor?
I'm here to cure all ills, aches and pains.
The hich, the tich, the palsy and the gout,
Pains within and pains without.
Any old woman that's got the mumps
Bring her to me, and I'll fetch out her stumps.
Been dead ten years, in her coffin eleven, buried twelve;
Give her some flip flop, shake up in her tip top,
She will maintain life for ever.
I carry a bottle by my side called cold and frosted drops.
One drop on the man's tongue,
And another on the roof of his mouth, and he shall maintain life for ever.
TO TURKISH KNIGHT
Here, old man, have a drop of my flip flop
And I shall shake it up in your tip top,
And you shall maintain life for ever.
TURKISH KNIGHT REVIVES