Cold Ash Mummers Play
as compiled by Richard Marshall
SONG, OUTSIDE OF VENUE
God bless the master of this house,
We hopes he is within.
An' if he is, praay tell us so
An' we ull soon begin.
With a hey dum dum,
With a hey dum dum,
With a hey dum dum de derry.
For we be come this Christmas time
A purpose to be merry.
I hopes the mistress is within
An' settin' by the fire
A pityin' we poor mummers yer
Out in the cold and mire.
We dissant come yer but once a year
An' hopes 'tis no offence
An if it is praay tell us zo
An we ull zoon go hence.
ENTER Christmas Boy:
Ladies and Gentlemen. spectators all,
I hope you are willing to hear the royal act.
We are all young hands we never act before,
We do the best we can, we cannot do no more.
So step in old Father Christmas from the door.
ENTER Father Christmas:
In comes I, poor old Father Christmas
Welcome or welcome not,
I hope poor old Father Christmas
Will never be forgot.
For in this house there shall be shown
The greatest battle that ever was known,
Between King George and the Turkish Knight.
ENTER King George's Man
In comes I, King George's Man,
I am come here to let you understand
The meaning of our play,
For I'll quickly lead the fighting men this way.
Walk in King George.
ENTER King George
In comes I, King George,
That man of courage bold
With my sword of old England
I won ten thousand pounds in gold.
I fought the fiery dragon I brought him to a slaughter,
And by these means I won
The King of Egypt's daughter.
ENTER Princess of Egypt
I am the Princess of Sheva, it is my only delight,
To give sweetest pleasure to this bright and gallant knight.
King George kisses her hand, their eyes meet …..
If any man dare step in this room tonight,
I'll hag him, I'll gag him, I'll let him for to know
That I'm King George of England before I let him go.
ENTER Turkish Knight:
In comes I that bold Turkish Knight,
I've come to England for to fight.
And fight I will before I go
To make King George's blood run cold,
For if his blood run hot I'll quickly make it cold.
For my head is made of iron,
And my body's made of steel,
I'll tie him to my huckle bones
Before I leave this night.
Ha! ha! my little fellow, Thou talkest very bold,
Just like some of these Turkish Knights I've oft been told.
Pull out your purse and pay,
For I'll make thee pay thy bill.
No purse will I pull out, Nor no money will I pay,
But I'll fight thee on the battle field,
Battle to battle betwixt you and me,
To see which on the ground shall lie.